i never dreaded labor and delivery. ask my friends. it is true. that said, i know i am not the norm. most women look towards the upcoming birth with a mixture of apprehension, fear and curiosity. there are 10 week classes that most of us signed up for and religiously attended that deal with this amazing and unique experience. and while i think that is cool, i find it ironic. while labor and delivery will take 24-48 hours, being a parent will take 18 years, and yet there is very little time or energy spent preparing new parents for what happens to their world when they leave the hospital (or birthing center...or maybe you never left home at all to have your bundle of joy!).
oh, there are plenty of books out there. the parenting section at any book store is filled to overflowing with well-meaning tomes. i have read a few. for the most part, i suggest parents steer clear of all parenting books. why? they will make you CRAZY! and with severe lack of sleep and wacky hormones (or a partner with wacky hormones) you don't need any help in that department.
ok, so we all have that friend whose baby slept through the night at 2 weeks and has been sleeping 12 hours a night since then. maybe you are that person. if that is the case, no need to read the rest of this post and please don't tell me about it as i may be tempted to strangle you.
part of the reason i started this blog is, after nearly 3 years, i am getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. i am scared to post this as i am pretty sure i will jinx myself. and i feel kind of weird and jet lagged. my thoughts are discombobulated...so i am sorry if this post is a bit disjointed. even though i knew some day i would sleep again, now that it is finally here, it doesn't seem real. it hasn't sunk in yet. i should be exercising with this new found energy and outlook, but instead i am going to pour out my thoughts to you. it feels equally cathartic and i don't have to shower at the end.
lack of sleep can have a huge impact on your life. i know this sounds like common sense, but when you are in the midst of severe sleep deprivation, it can be hard to see the forest for the trees. coming out the fog these last few weeks, i have found myself in several nit-picking snits with my husband. i was confused at first as it would seem we only have reason to celebrate. it occurs to me, though, that we have been in sheer survival mode for a LONG time. nit-picking does not fall high on the list of things to do to survive. suddenly, with more energy and a renewed desire to do more than the bare minimum, some old rifts have resurfaced. i take it as a good sign. we are no longer walking in place!
i was speaking to a dear friend this morning about how out of it i feel now that i am sleeping a normal amount. i was wondering how long it would take to feel "normal" again. but there really ins't a normal to go back to...i just have to find a new normal. and now, finally, i have the energy to do just that!
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